The TSA has a new system for spotting terrorists, it’s the creative idea of watching people’s behavior as they go through airport checkpoints. There is even a clever acronym: Screening Passengers by Observation Techniques (SPOT).

But they are quick to point out, in the interest of not offending Middle Eastern males, that the program is just for show and has no real brains behind it.

Here’s how it works: Select TSA employees will be trained to identify suspicious individuals who raise red flags by exhibiting unusual or anxious behavior, which can be as simple as changes in mannerisms, excessive sweating on a cool day, or changes in the pitch of a person’s voice. Racial or ethnic factors are not a criterion for singling out people, TSA officials say. Those who are identified as suspicious will be examined more thoroughly; for some, the agency will bring in local police to conduct face-to-face interviews and perhaps run the person’s name against national criminal databases and determine whether any threat exists. If such inquiries turn up other issues countries with terrorist connections, police officers can pursue the questioning or alert Federal counterterrorism agents. And of course the full retinue of baggage x-rays, magnatometers and other checks for weapons will continue.

“Man, that guy matches the ethnic and gender profile of 99% of the those who have carried out terrorist attacks. Oh, wait, I can’t notice that, I have to check to see if he’s sweating or if his voice changed pitch.”

Incredible.

The SPOT program comes none too soon, since the current TSA system of screening for threats on airplanes has been, well, spotty. Earlier this month TSA screeners not trained in the SPOT program pulled over three Marines in dress uniform for special screening. After being patted down and scrutinized closely, the Marines were finally let go and allowed to continue their duties — escorting the body of one of their colleagues killed in Iraq.

Trading one useless process for another. Just in the nick of time.